


A Constant Panic Attack

by Costa_Cat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Drowning, Insecure Lance, Kidnapping, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Sad lance, Some Fluff, dumb boys in love, klance, klangst, stiles my boy, teen wolf qoute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 11:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Costa_Cat/pseuds/Costa_Cat
Summary: Lance is drowning and drowning until he's actually drowning.OrThe one where Lance is sad and then nearly dies and then is a little less sad





	A Constant Panic Attack

 

_You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out._

 

Lance doesn't know how it happened. Doesn't know how he went from struggling to breathe because he was laughing so hard to refusing to breathe because the second he does, he dies. Doesn't know how one second he was opening his mouth to tease Keith about how cute he is when be blushes to having a foreign hand muffling him as he's dragged to what Lance is sure will be his demise.

 

_It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding._

 

It's right there.

 

His bayard. His helmet. Outside the tank and _fucking useless,_ but yet he's still weakly banging on the glass in desperate, repetitive motions as if he could break it before he's breathing in what he once loved. But he can't and he knows that. But yet he still tries, even as the pain in his head grows until it's hard to do anything but fucking panic. But yet he tries through the intense pressure in his lungs because if he doesn't get out who's going to tell Keith he has the softest lips after every single kiss they share?

 

_Then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary any more._

 

When the water infiltrates his lungs, it doesn't seem that bad. At first. He's just so happy to finally take a breath in that he forgets just what he's breathing in. But then he's trying to breathe in again and he's choking and he can't breathe and he realises his mistake and even though he's mere moments from his own demise, he's still beating himself up for his failure. Useless. Pathetic. Anyone else could have held out longer. Anyone else wouldn't be such a pathetic fucking-

 

The world dims down and the constant self depreciating thoughts slip from his mind for the first time since childhood. His mind is silent. No scary thoughts, no overthinking, no working himself up over the smallest of things like Keith saying 'morning' instead of 'good morning' and suddenly he's convinced himself Keith wants to break up. None of that. Just silence.

 

_It's actually kind of peaceful._

 

 

It's Keith who saves him.

 

It's always Keith.

 

There's cuts on his face and arms from being yanked from the tank with shaky, desperate fingers but Lance pays little mind to it.

 

Because coughing up water fucking _hurts_. Every wretch feels as if his throat is tearing and he's crying as he pants and wretches and wheezes and Lance wants to go back to the gentle silence of death.

 

_If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?_

 

Keith is there, holding him through it but it feels never ending. It's everywhere in his body, from his blue lips to his hazy eyes to his barely responsive limbs, subdued by the all encompassing cold. It's... it's torture.

 

The worst part is supposedly over but it's worse. He's drowning but not from water but from the sheer pain he's in, furiously and frantically trying to clear the water from his lungs, the cold creeping up further and further until it feels like he's paralysed. He doesn't even know if it's phantom pain or not but he doesn't fucking care because it's scary and it hurts and he isn't registering anything around him other than terror and mind numbing pain.

 

_But what if it's agony now and then... and then it's just hell later on?_

 

He's being pulled into someone's lap, probably Keith's, who holds his shaking form close and runs trembling fingers through his wet hair. Keith's probably just as scared as he is. Witnessing the seemingly lifeless corpse of the person you love and cherish most in the world suspended in a water tank isn't easy on the psyche. But yet Keith still has the strength to pull Lance into a protective embrace as he whimpers and shivers. To put Lance first, as he always has, as he always does. As he always will.

 

And suddenly, Lance isn't so cold any more. And suddenly things aren't so scary and his mind is silent despite simultaneously reeling from what's just freaking happened, and- and suddenly he's aware he's in Keith's arms and things are peaceful. Things are... are peaceful.

 

As they always are when he's with Keith.

 

Lance has a tendency to forget that.

 

_Then think about something Winston Churchill once said_

 

His eyes are so soft. Keith's. It's the first thing he processes when he weakly blinks up at his boyfriend. They're grey. A storm. A beautiful, terrifying storm that Lance falls in love with time and time again. And so soft...

 

But only towards Lance. His opposers are faced with an angry, passion driven hurricane. Those who fight by his side are met with a not entirely unfriendly flood of waves, mostly studying or analysing.

 

But Lance?

 

Lance gets everything. And it's all tied together with a ribbon of unusual yet beautifully unique softness that makes Lance feel more at home than anything else in the universe. That settles his heart and quietens his mind. That makes waking up and stumbling through each agonising day overflowing with homesickness, depressive episodes and intense anxiety so, _so_ , worth it.

 

And then Keith's lips are on his and it's warm. It's warm and his lips don't feel so blue any more and his entire body is coming to life with just the brush of a hot-headed half human man's lips who couldn't be more perfect to Lance if dreamt him up in one of the many dreamscapes Lance finds himself escaping too during the lonely hours of each day.

 

“Your... your lips are really soft.”

 

It's weak and crocked out, barely intelligible really, but it makes a smile that tugs on Lance's delicate little heartstrings appear on his face, even as tears are dripping down his cheeks and onto Lance's, mixing with his own until two things become one.

 

He leans back down and Lance welcomes it, closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the peace of Keith's lips.

 

_If you're going through hell, **keep going.**_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it. Kudos and Comments are gratefully appreciated because I need the validation xx
> 
> I was hella sad and shit this out at 1am so this is coming straight from my depressed little heart. 
> 
> Anyway I love you guys


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